The Best Mother’s Day Gift? FORGIVENESS

4 keys for forgiving your Mother

1. Ask: Would you have done the same if you were her?
2. Accept: Your mother did the best she could
3. Surrender: Your Mother is who she is
4. Know: You can forgive your mother for what she did! If you want to forgive your mother, make the decision start with this. Just be willing to forgive her. Want to forgive her, commit to your desire for freedom from unforgiveness and pray this prayer

Dear Father,

 In the name of Jesus, I purpose and choose by an act of my will to forgive my mother for all the ways she failed me or hurt me.

I repent for agreeing with the enemy in bitterness about my mother. I renounce those things in my life.

Now, in the name of Jesus, I accept Your forgiveness of me and I choose to forgive myself and to fully accept myself as the child of the mother You gave me.

Holy Spirit please come… heal my broken heart and show me and tell me your truth… AMEN

According to James 2… ¹⁷ Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.  ²⁴ You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.  The Forgiveness Journey requires prayer, faith & yes work! Consider using these four Forgiveness Tools.

1. Ask yourself: Would you have done the same if you were her?

Your first reaction may be to say, “No! I would never treat my daughter the way my mother treated me! I could never be that mean, unloving, stupid or abusive.” And you may be right. You are you, so you act and think the way you do. During your life, you probably done things that you wished you had not done just like your mother.   However, the normal response is I would never do anything to my children that would require forgiveness.

It took me a long time for me to understand this; It is my desire that you will learn it faster than I did. If I grew up the way my mother did, I would treat my children the same way my mother treated me.  I would say and do the same things. If I experienced what my mother experienced growing up with her own mother, I would raise my children the same way. It was learned behavior, dysfunctional parenting passed down.

That is what set me free to forgive my Mother and knowing who I am in God. I was fearfully and wonderfully made to be who he wanted me to be, I was put on this earth in this family at this time. God did not bring me out of the painful childhood I experienced, but God did bring me through it, and he is able to do the same for you. For his reason He put you in this family at this time on this earth. We may not understand why, but we know that all things work together. We believe and trust God, he knows what He is doing, I am grateful that God brought you here, to learn the keys to forgive your Mother.

2. Accept that your Mother did the best she could

Your Mother may not have given you the love or support you needed growing up, but she did the best she could. Your mother can only give you what she has in her own mind, heart, and spirit.

I do not know why your Mother hurt you, or how long you have been struggling with pain and resentment. I believe your mother’s actions represent what is in her heart. This does not mean it is okay what she did, or even that you must forgive your mother for hurting you! But you will find yourself softening and healing if you accept that your mom can only give you what she has.

3. Surrender: Your Mother is who she is

You cannot change your mother. Look at how hard it is to change yourself! Growth and healing must come from within, from an inner source of life, strength, love and grace. We cannot force our moms to be different any more than we can force ourselves to change. We cannot change our mothers any more than we can change the color of the leaves on the trees.

Learn is how to give yourself the love and comfort you did not get growing up. Your mother could not be the Mother you needed or wanted…but this does not mean you have to live without the support, love, or advice you needed. What do you want your Mother to give or tell you? Ask God to teach you how to mother and care for yourself. If you don’t, who will?

 Forgiveness is a Mother’s Day gift that will free your heart and soul from the burden of pain and guilt. Accepting that your Mother is the person that God chose to bring you into this world will help you to forgive. Forgiveness is the release of resentment and anger. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. One does not have to return to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from the person that hurt you

4. Know: You can forgive your Mother for what she did

Accepting your mother for who she is painful. Please know that forgiving your Mother for hurting you is possible!  It still hurts to think about the ways my Mother hurt me, and I am 60 years old! Our childhood wounds never go away — especially if they are caused by our mothers. We want our Mother to love us, support us, take care of us and be there for us…but our mothers do not have the ability to be who we want them to be.

 The ability to heal is connected to forgive her, to allow her to be who she was. I found ways to be who I am, and freedom to blossom into who God created me to be. If I can do it, so can you.

Do not hold on to the pain of the past. You can be free from destructive emotions and toxic relationships, and you can move forward. 

Our Mothers can only be who they are. If we can accept our mothers for who they are, then we can forgive them for hurting us. This does not just make Mother’s Day easier to handle, it changes our lives, our relationships, and our future. Forgiveness changes us.